Curiosity Killed the Swede
by c.petersen
Summary: Alisa watches Lars sleep every night. He obviously isn't aware of this, so whatever right? Wrong.


**A/N:** I really don't know what brought this on. It's 2:38am.

* * *

He doesn't know it, but every night at 3:15am Alisa sneaks into Lars's room to watch him sleep. She doesn't know why it intrigues her so much; all she can see is the rebel commander's well defined upper body rhythmically moving up and down at a steady pace. She can't help herself though, and even though she knows that he is likely to get upset with her if he ever does wake up, Alisa can't bring herself to stop.

She really just likes to look at Lars. He is, by human standards, a very attractive male specimen and Alisa would love nothing more than to trail her fingers along every part of his body and examine it thoroughly. So maybe that's why she always watches him sleep; this is when Lars is the most vulnerable and therefore it is also the optimal time for Alisa pull off the covers completely and...feel him. Which for a reason she can't explain, she _really _wants to do.

She can't bring herself to though...she doesn't want him to get mad at her.

So it goes on like this for several weeks. The dynamic duo work hard with Nina Williams (now the head of the Mishima Zaibatsu due to Jin Kazama's disappearance) cleaning up every inch of the world that was ravaged by Jin in order to awake Azazel, and then return to whatever hotel they've checked into where Alisa waits to watch him at night.

And then one night, the timid android finally gets the courage to do what she so desires.

It's a slow process; Alisa is completely terrified of waking Lars, and if she were human she is certain she'd be shaking uncontrollably. Thankfully she isn't, so her movements are precise and impeccably accurate. Slowly, she grasps the end of the covers and lifts them off the bed. Lars shifts ever so slightly, but otherwise seems completely content.

Keeping her eyes on his face (an easy task for her, though she regrets not being able to look at his eyes), Alisa begins to gently remove the covers. Lars is sleeping face-up, so the outline of his toned abdomen is slowly becoming more exposed thanks to the moonlight shining through the window. After what seems like an eternity, Alisa finally makes it to his waist. She still can't see any visible hemline of pajama bottoms or underwear, and suddenly a realization hits her like a ton of bricks:

Lars sleeps in the nude.

Alisa pauses in her mission as her eyes light up slightly. She doesn't know why she's excited; she's looked up male genitalia before out of pure curiosity, since she was modeled after a female. So she knows what to expect when she proceeds with the removal of the covers, yet for some reason she finds herself growing...nervous?

She does admit to herself that it is a rather strange looking organ, but she knows its uses and why it is needed for human reproduction. Still, she imagines it must be difficult having to function and walk around with it all day. Maybe if it was detachable like her own head and arms? That would make much more sense. She's always pitied humans for apparently not having that ability.

Lars moves a tiny bit and Alisa is snapped out of her thoughts. The Swede is still completely passed out, evidently treasuring these precious moments of rest he is able to get between each hectic day. Slightly furrowing her brow and chewing on her bottom lip in pure focus, Alisa proceeds with the covers.

And there, in all it's glory, is Lars's penis.

Alisa places her left hand on her chin and rubs it slightly. Upon closer inspection it appears to be around six inches and is obviously limp and unresponsive. There's not much more to it, and Alisa is less intrigued by it than she thought she would be. Still, she's heard that it's sensitive and provides quite the response when unexpected contact is made with it.

Perhaps if she was really, _reaaaallly _careful, she could touch it. Just once.

Pulling off the white glove on her right hand, Alisa extends her milky white index finger and nods to herself. If she can pull this off, she'll consider her mission a success and will no longer have to watch Lars sleep at night. With the pace of an overweight snail, Alisa brings her finger towards the head of Lars's "Second in Command". As she gets closer, she hears Lars groan but pays no mind to it. She's barely made any sound during this whole ordeal anyway so there's nothing to worry about...

...except that she forgot to take into account the open window next to Lars's bed, and right at that moment a particularly powerful gust of cold air barges into the room. Not only is it loud, but it also engulfs the rebel commander's exposed body and his eyes immediately snap open.

Alisa is frozen, bent over Lars's naked body with her un-gloved finger millimeters away from utterly violating him. The two just gape at each other; Alisa out of surprise that he's awake, and Lars out of...well the entire situation. It's one of those moments where a tumbleweed would fit remarkably well.

Finally Lars manages to screech out an, "A-Alisa?!"

The android, having retracted her hand, places both of them behind her back and looks away. "I just wanted to examine you. You weren't supposed to wake up. I feel embarrassed that I was caught, and I apologize." She bows sincerely.

Lars snatches up the covers instantly up to his chin, "_You _feel embarrassed?"

Alisa nods, completely missing the sarcasm. "Yes."

The Swede brings both of his hands up to rub his face tiredly, "Might I ask why you were examining me? In particular my...y'know..."

"Your penis?" Alisa offers.

Lars groans.

"Well," she begins, "I have never observed one in real life, seeing as I am modeled after a female. So I was curious to see its capabilities."

"You make it sound like a weapon..."

Alisa appears to be considering this, making Lars want to smother himself with his pillow.

"It's not a weapon, Alisa..."

She nods and smiles at him, "Thank you for clarifying. I was wondering, does it cause discomfort to you? It appears rather intrusive, especially when walking."

Re-burying his face in his hands Lars slowly shakes his head, "No. I've had it my whole life so I've...learned to adapt to how it feels. All males do."

"Fascinating," Is all Alisa says as she turns to leave, "I'll leave you to rest now, Lars. We have a busy schedule tomorrow."

Lars just groans again in response and wonders how he'll get back to sleep tonight.

"Oh and Lars," Alisa turns back to him as she places her hand on the doorknob, "if you should ever feel like detaching your penis from your body I would be happy to assist you. Pleasant dreams!" With that, Alisa finally leaves a horrified Lars alone in his room as she shuts the door.

Yeah...he's definitely not getting back to sleep tonight.


End file.
